A while ago, I mentioned that my sister and I were looking for a nursing home for my cousin Jenny. She has cerebral palsy, and doctors predicted that she wouldn’t live long after she turned sixteen. She’s 68 now, and she’s taken strong medicine for years to control seizures and muscle spasms. Her right arm and leg don’t work as well as her left. And the medicine has caused some nerve damage, so she’s beginning to fall more than usual when all of a sudden her right leg won’t hold her. She’s reached the point where she can’t be left alone anymore. But doggone that girl has a positive attitude!
The three of us sat down and talked about her world shrinking, and the fact that she was watching more and more TV and socializing less and less. A nursing home that offered a lot of activities with people available to get her to the ones she’d enjoy looked like the best option. And we found a really good one. My sister and I moved her furniture in last Monday. On Tuesday, we moved Jenny and all of her favorite pictures and knickknacks in and let her decide where she wanted them. We met her roommate–a sweetheart. And at the end of a long day, her room looked really nice and Jenny was settled. It was hard for all three of us when it was time for us to leave.
My sister worried about her all night and went up early the next day. Jenny had already made two new friends and had gone to breakfast and then a daily coffee club where the activity director read the newspaper to whoever came while they talked sipped their coffee. After that, she went to an exercise club. And by the time my sister got there, she had lots of news to share with her, and she was excited. My daughter went to spend a couple of hours with her the next day, and HH and I went on Friday. And Jenny never stopped talking to us for the first half hour, telling us all of the fun she was having.
It will take more time for all of us to adjust to the changes, but it looks like Jenny’s going to thrive at St. Anne’s. The caregivers are warm and wonderful. Jenny gets therapy every day to try to keep her as strong as she can be for as long as she can be, and she’s determined to get even stronger. She won a prize at Bingo. Made a new friend.
I know it’s a hard decision when a loved one needs more care than you can give him or her, and each person has to make whatever decision works best for her and her loved one. Just like writing, one thing doesn’t work for everyone. But this decision looks like it’s going to be a blessing for both Jenny and my sister. Jenny won’t call St. Anne’s a nursing home, just her new home, with her new apartment and her new roommate. And right now, she’s happy.
I loved hearing Jenny’s story. I hope she’s happy and that all goes well for her.
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Thanks, Liz.
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Glad to hear it was a successful transition.
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Thank you. We got really lucky. Jenny loves her roommate and most of the activities. I think she’s going to be really happy there.
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I’m so happy to read this – so positive and hopeful. I went through a similar situation with my mother and she thrived and came back to life after moving to a wonderful assisted living home.
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I’m so happy your mother was happy in a home, too. I hear so many people feel so guilty about “putting” a loved one in home, but sometimes, it’s the most wonderful thing for them, especially if you visit them often. That’s why I wanted to share this. It’s such a hard decision to make.
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it’s really hard, but it turned out to be a life-saver for her in many ways
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I’m sure this wasn’t an easy thing to do but sounds like it’s all working out for the best for Jenny. She sounds like an amazing woman!
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She’s not too bad as far as cousins go:)
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Judi, that’s awesome! And it’s amazing how wrong the doctors were about Jenny’s life expectancy, but given what you shared here, she clearly is a determined and optimistic woman. I’m glad everything is working out well for all involved, as I know that’s a hard decision to make about a home.
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Thanks, Mae!
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That’s outstanding. These moves don’t always go this way. So glad she’s actually enjoying herself.
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How wonderful to hear about a positive experience. All the best to Jenny!
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Thank you!
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This is an optimistic and happy solution. Good for you and for Jenny.
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Hope you’re having a great summer! If you can make it to Scribes on Wednesday, it’s at Little Turtle Library, but we can’t get in the room until one. Hope you’re writing:)
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